Sam's "Fantasy nitro team" thread... with a twist. (1 Viewer)

Rapid {Only Alky Funnycar on the planet with 6-foot header flames} :eek:

Also the only Alky funny car with a less than 100 inch wheelbase. I can see it now, Randy to his crew chief: "This thing goes too straight ... it's no fun to drive ... get out the torch and shorten this thing up!!!!"
 
Also the only Alky funny car with a less than 100 inch wheelbase. I can see it now, Randy to his crew chief: "This thing goes too straight ... it's no fun to drive ... get out the torch and shorten this thing up!!!!"

I can see it too, He'd be out there with something as long about the length of a golf cart
 
If I get rich, I will fund a 2 car top fuel team for Timmah and Erica Ortiz. Lee Beard will be the crew chief. Sponsors will be Fed/EX for Timmah (natch) and Southwest Airlines for Erica. We will have a ridiculously cool hospitality area, and if you have "Mater Cred" you are always welcome.

2 car development team will not be so much of a development team but more of a way for me and my dad to have fun. We will run A/Fuel and have too much fun with sponsorship from Maker's Mark.

We will have a guard dog to keep Rapid Randy out of our hammock though.
 
PJ,,,I like the way you and Chris think! :D

Chris,,,Keeping Ol' Rapid out of the hammock between rounds,,,,Good luck with that buddy. :eek:

Rapid
 
My
icon_driving.gif
would be Marty Nothstein.

darn, my picture won't load...:eek: I'll try it later...
 
Timmah I think you forgot Team Manager~!!

Oh yeah....Ok..Jessica Murry....(Director of Hospitality and Sponsor Relations). Actual TEAM MANAGER would most likely be mom because of her Legal back ground. Gonna have to keep an eye on Me and Skuza and our "WORDS OF THE DAY", to ensure we don't have any Law Suits coming forth. Your job would be a tough one Jess, which also means you have to Pick the HOT EYE CANDY that attracts people to our MEGA Pit area.
 
If I get rich, I will fund a 2 car top fuel team for Timmah and Erica Ortiz. Lee Beard will be the crew chief. Sponsors will be Fed/EX for Timmah (natch) and Southwest Airlines for Erica. We will have a ridiculously cool hospitality area, and if you have "Mater Cred" you are always welcome.

.

Well, I like your thinking too Chris, but we'll have to dump the Fed Ex thing or Southwest thing... It would be a conflict of interst because Fed Ex is considered an AIRLINE Too...! So, I was thinking "UNCLE JACK DANIELS" for Timmah's Sponsor??? Or "UNCLE APPLE PIE?";)
 
Well, I like your thinking too Chris, but we'll have to dump the Fed Ex thing or Southwest thing... It would be a conflict of interst because Fed Ex is considered an AIRLINE Too...! So, I was thinking "UNCLE JACK DANIELS" for Timmah's Sponsor??? Or "UNCLE APPLE PIE?";)

Since me and my Dad's A/Fuel teams are going to be sponsored by Maker's Mark ... can't have that Tennessee rot-gut JD. We could dump SouthWest for Hilton since I have been to hundreds of them .... or Cisco Systems since I spend most of my waking hours configuring Cisco Routers/Switches/Access Points and trying to keep my Cisco certifications current.
 
Oh yeah....Ok..Jessica Murry....(Director of Hospitality and Sponsor Relations). Actual TEAM MANAGER would most likely be mom because of her Legal back ground. Gonna have to keep an eye on Me and Skuza and our "WORDS OF THE DAY", to ensure we don't have any Law Suits coming forth. Your job would be a tough one Jess, which also means you have to Pick the HOT EYE CANDY that attracts people to our MEGA Pit area.

I'm up for the job!!!!! :)
 
Keyboard test 123....
Keyboard test

Check Check one check

Sorry, just got new board to replace the coffee sticking keys cause by certain people here....

After several offers, and a very heavy return on investment, I am liquidating Team Roxy Nova...

I am mailing out checks tomorrow to everyone I promised to pay... at this point I'm checking into Happy Farms, my family is worried about my sanity...

Made the mistake of mentioning I'm just nuts about all the eye candy posted by my fellow Maters within hearing distance (1000 miles) of The Boss.

I hope to return in about a year or so as soon as my mental state returns to what some would call normal.

Jessica, please issue the press releases.

d'kid
(be careful when opening envelopes containing checks, they were printed on "Goo Ya" racing slicks and personal injuries may result if they fall to the ground)
 
Keyboard test 123....
Keyboard test

Check Check one check

Sorry, just got new board to replace the coffee sticking keys cause by certain people here....


Coffee sticking keys.....why Karl, whatever do ya mean?? Is the coffee dribbling out of your mouth, or are we talking full blown spit across the computer expulsion here??:D:eek:
 
Coffee sticking keys.....why Karl, whatever do ya mean?? Is the coffee dribbling out of your mouth, or are we talking full blown spit across the computer expulsion here??:D:eek:

Between you, Terry Nebraski, Suzie Q, Kelly H. PJ, Rapid, MM, Timmah, Lady Jessica... need I go on... sometimes this place is funnier than Comedy Central... ergo new monitor, keyboard and and ashtray...

Lady Jessica, send out a press release on this also...

now, has anyone seen my bags of quarter and half nuts?

d'kid
insane is being 53 and calling yourself d'kid:eek::eek:
 
Oh great now i am gonna have to go work for Timmah and he is gonna make me do the top end!!! :(:eek::D
 
Oh great now i am gonna have to go work for Timmah and he is gonna make me do the top end!!! :(:eek::D

Yeah..but I'm also gonna have you BACK ME UP...FROM BEHIND THE CAR MIKE...YOUR JUST NOT THE EYE CANDY I WANNA SEE WHEN I'M BACKING UP DUDE! Maybe you can be the Guy in front of MINDY'S CAR?:p
 
.....FOR DELAYED RELEASE......
05-09-08

Charlet Motorsports Marketing

Charlet Motorsports to merge with Team Roxy Nova...



The NHRA has a new SUPER TEAM! After watching teams like John Force Racing, DSR and Knoll Gas Motorsports, Charlet Motorsports team owner, Don Charlet is proud to announce the merge of his current (4) Car team with the (4) car team of Karl Stalcup's TEAM ROXY NOVA. Terms of the merger have not been disclosed.

"This is a historic day for the NHRA", said the patriarch of the Charlet Motorsports team Don Charlet. "We already had two wonderful and articulate drivers, (Dean Skuza and Fast Jack Beckman) and now have added a third (Phil Burkhart Jr.) to our stable. We are confident that this team will continue to grow, provide an outstanding return for our sponsors and bring new fans and more HARDWARE to the Charlet Motorsports Umbrella".

The merger was brought out of necessity. Due to Karl Stalcup's recent medical issues, and his well publicized entry to "the funny farm", Charlet Motorsports development driver Tim Charlet felt the time was right to add onto his fathers super team. "Karl is a great man with the highest moral standards. We know that Karl's absence (from his faculties) is only temporary, and that he will return from his sabbatical fully rested and ready to assume his role as a team leader soon. We all wish Karl the best during this difficult time".

This Merger also brings forth a dilemma for Charlet Motorsports. Due to the strange coincidence that Fast Jack Beckman was under contract with both teams as a pro driver, Charlet Motorsports has petitioned the NHRA to provide an exception to their rule on permitting a Top Fuel or Funny Car driver from entering competition in both classes at the same event. "JACK IS ONE OF THE HARDEST WORKING PEOPLE IN DRAG RACING, AND WE FEEL THAT IF ANYONE CAN PULL OFF THE "FUEL DOUBLE-DOUBLE", IT IS DEFINATLY FAST JACK BECKMAN", said the owner of Charlet Motorsports. If the NHRA does not allow this exception, this provides a unique opportunity for Charlet Motorsports. "It looks like we have a car and crew without a driver. So, in the meantime, we have offered the ride of the 4th CHARLET MOTORSPORTS Fuel car to some of the legends of the sport." On the short list of potential "SHOES" are Shirley Muldowney, Joe Amato, Kenny Bernstein, Don Prudhomme, Mike Dunn, and Former Top Fuel Driver and current Division 7 Super Class racer Brent Cannon.

Development Drivers, Tim Charlet, Mindy Frey, and “Rapid” Randy Baker have all expressed an interest in filling the seat of the 4th Pro Nitro car. All drivers will be licensed in both the teams Funny Car and Top Fuel Dragsters in order to prepare them for the next level. With the addition of these new teams also comes the need for added Management for the Charlet Motorsports . “We have added Mater Legends, John “JRX” Rogers and Chris Cook as team managers for both the new Charlet Motorsports. Rogers, will be the team manager for the pro teams, and Cook will assume the role of Team Manager of the Development drivers in the Top Alcohol Classes. Both men bring plenty of Mater Cred to the table and will be a tremendous asset to our team.”

The Team will have their 1st meeting in Las Vegas prior to the initial NHRA SANCTIONED Test session at The Strip at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, in early January. Accommodations have been provided by the teams new Primary sponsors MGM MIRAGE at their recently opened property “PROJECT CITY CENTER”. All Charlet Motorsports employees have been given their own Strip View Condo, fully furnished, as a “Signing Bonus” for joining the newly formed team.
 
LMAO,,,now all we need is a little money and we are in business! :D

Rapid NO FUEL CHECK Baker
 
.....FOR DELAYED RELEASE......
05-09-08

Charlet Motorsports Marketing

Charlet Motorsports to merge with Team Roxy Nova...



The NHRA has a new SUPER TEAM! After watching teams like John Force Racing, DSR and Knoll Gas Motorsports, Charlet Motorsports team owner, Don Charlet is proud to announce the merge of his current (4) Car team with the (4) car team of Karl Stalcup's TEAM ROXY NOVA. Terms of the merger have not been disclosed.

"This is a historic day for the NHRA", said the patriarch of the Charlet Motorsports team Don Charlet. "We already had two wonderful and articulate drivers, (Dean Skuza and Fast Jack Beckman) and now have added a third (Phil Burkhart Jr.) to our stable. We are confident that this team will continue to grow, provide an outstanding return for our sponsors and bring new fans and more HARDWARE to the Charlet Motorsports Umbrella".

The merger was brought out of necessity. Due to Karl Stalcup's recent medical issues, and his well publicized entry to "the funny farm", Charlet Motorsports development driver Tim Charlet felt the time was right to add onto his fathers super team. "Karl is a great man with the highest moral standards. We know that Karl's absence (from his faculties) is only temporary, and that he will return from his sabbatical fully rested and ready to assume his role as a team leader soon. We all wish Karl the best during this difficult time".

This Merger also brings forth a dilemma for Charlet Motorsports. Due to the strange coincidence that Fast Jack Beckman was under contract with both teams as a pro driver, Charlet Motorsports has petitioned the NHRA to provide an exception to their rule on permitting a Top Fuel or Funny Car driver from entering competition in both classes at the same event. "JACK IS ONE OF THE HARDEST WORKING PEOPLE IN DRAG RACING, AND WE FEEL THAT IF ANYONE CAN PULL OFF THE "FUEL DOUBLE-DOUBLE", IT IS DEFINATLY FAST JACK BECKMAN", said the owner of Charlet Motorsports. If the NHRA does not allow this exception, this provides a unique opportunity for Charlet Motorsports. "It looks like we have a car and crew without a driver. So, in the meantime, we have offered the ride of the 4th CHARLET MOTORSPORTS Fuel car to some of the legends of the sport." On the short list of potential "SHOES" are Shirley Muldowney, Joe Amato, Kenny Bernstein, Don Prudhomme, Mike Dunn, and Former Top Fuel Driver and current Division 7 Super Class racer Brent Cannon.

Development Drivers, Tim Charlet, Mindy Frey, and “Rapid” Randy Baker have all expressed an interest in filling the seat of the 4th Pro Nitro car. All drivers will be licensed in both the teams Funny Car and Top Fuel Dragsters in order to prepare them for the next level. With the addition of these new teams also comes the need for added Management for the Charlet Motorsports . “We have added Mater Legends, John “JRX” Rogers and Chris Cook as team managers for both the new Charlet Motorsports. Rogers, will be the team manager for the pro teams, and Cook will assume the role of Team Manager of the Development drivers in the Top Alcohol Classes. Both men bring plenty of Mater Cred to the table and will be a tremendous asset to our team.”

The Team will have their 1st meeting in Las Vegas prior to the initial NHRA SANCTIONED Test session at The Strip at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, in early January. Accommodations have been provided by the teams new Primary sponsors MGM MIRAGE at their recently opened property “PROJECT CITY CENTER”. All Charlet Motorsports employees have been given their own Strip View Condo, fully furnished, as a “Signing Bonus” for joining the newly formed team.

Awesome...we finally have the answer to the frequently asked question http://www.nitromater.com/nhra/14699-health-risks-nitromethane.html
Timmah you've nailed it!!!
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