Sorry to hear of your wife's passing. She's in a better place and you are left behind to regroup and go forward. Hang in there sir.
Seeing her picture, I will say that you outdid yourself in the wife department!
She's gonna be looking down on you when you let go of that button and feel the rush of horsepower. Just know that now she's past the pain, and hoping that you find a way past yours.
Prayers out to you sir. If you happen to show up at the Vegas divisional, please stop by .... my rig is the one covered in flames.