A few laughs on a rough day
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a
Buckeye joke?" The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should
know something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State graduate. The
guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is an Ohio State graduate.
The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250lbs. and he is also an Ohio State
graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy says, "No,
not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"
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It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will on ly be
dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players will
have to dress themselves.
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Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to the ground?
All five books in the library were completely destroyed.... the football
team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored in two of the books
yet!
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What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus?
Ann Arbor: 187 Miles
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Q: What does the average Ohio State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool
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Q: How do you get an Ohio Graduate off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
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Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU grad, a
Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to
be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they
argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to
argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled him self off
the mountainside shouting "This is for the fighting Irish!" Not wanting to
be outdone, the Penn State grad threw him self off the mountain proclaiming,
"This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over
and shouted, "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Ohio State grad
off the mountain.
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Q: What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad?
A: "Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order please?"
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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The
manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and
said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store." But, I'm a OSU graduate,"
the young man replied indignantly, "I even played football there!" "Oh, I'm
sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I
better show you how."
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Two Ohio State football players were hootin' and hollerin' while partying on
campus when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one
said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took
them two months. "Two months?!" exclaimed the bartender. The Buckeye proudly
replied, "Yeah, the box said 4 - 6 years!"
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A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horse back
riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse just
in time.
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A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery when they
came upon a headstone tha t read: "Here lies an OSU graduate and a good
man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people
in there?"
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Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about
the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan As they are walking, Lloyd trips
over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a
genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?" asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say
they did. "You will each get one wish," said the genie. Jim offers to go
first. "I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so
that none of those stupid Michiganians can ever get in. I want it as far
down into the ground asit is high and I want it to be completely sealed in
so that we can finally have our peace!" The genie grants the wish to Jim and
his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd
he'll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, "Fill it up with water."
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Q: Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games?
A: Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated!
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Q: What are the three longest years of a Ohio State football player's life?
A: His freshman year!
. The Bears should be "no problem" for OU...especially after losing there starting QB for the rest of the year. He was pretty awesome!!!
But they were even funnier when I changed Ohio State to Michigan & changed Buckeyes to Wolverines then they really really made me laugh!!!
