I for one do not care anymore. I have kicked my Oreo addiction!
Yayyyy for me! The awful little cookies had control of my life. I couldn't resist them. The package sizes made the cookies inside taste different, each in their special way. The little vending machine 6-packs, were enough to get you through the afternoon at work. The large store packs, that I stacked neatly in the cookie jar ma handed down, had another special taste.
I used to push my cart down the cookie aisle in the market, and ram any cart that blocked the Oreo display. I once called Nabisco headquarters because of a few crumbled cookies in my bag when I got them home. They sent me 2 free packs, and an apology. I was an Oreo authority, and a Oreo freak!
Another time they had an offer to win a special Oreo Yo-yo! A specially marked cookie in your pack had to be mailed to Nabisco, and they sent me the yo-yo. I have since sold the yo-yo on eBay, and invested in Nabisco.
I was a dunker, never a twister. I never licked the stuff. Just dunk, soak for
4.42 seconds, and pop the Oreo, whole, into the mouth, don't chew yet, just let it sit there, another 4.42 seconds! Let it dissolve on the tongue. Let it wash the palate in chocolaty sensuality 'til it crumbles in the mouth, Then, and only then, with a sip of ice cold skim milk, let it slide down the throat. Rinse the mouth with another sip of milk, and repeat. Ahhhhhhhhhh!
But then, ma passed away, rest her soul, and I broke my Oreo addiction. I haven't had one pass my lips since 03 now. Believe me, it was as hard as quitting smoking.
So now it's "fie on thee Oreo"! And good riddance! I opt out of thy vicious cholesterol. No more will you pull my belly over my flamed belt. I'm done, kaput. May all the Oreo trucks spill their chocolate loads over the nations highways.
I feel so much better! Now, pass me a couple Chips Ahoys!
