I have been wanting to share my thoughts since the news came out but I have been busy and every time I type I feel like I cant put the words to what I feel. Ive thought long and hard about what this news brings I feel like I have already been through the five stages of grief even though not a single bulldozer has been setup yet. I may not have been going as long as Cliff or Alan or many others but I have spent half of my life reguarly going to Firebird and walking those pits and sitting in those stands and eating greasy nachos and parking in the mud and pissing in those troughs. Even 20 years later I can still remember the first drag race of any kind I went to, it was one of the jets vs funny car shows that my boy scout pack leader took us to (he was a car guy which was awesome) I saw my sister's boyfriend run the friday night drags once or twice and had fun. And of course I can remember the first time I got a whiff of that sweet sweet nitro and when I heard my first fuel car make a pass, it set the hook.
As selfish as it sounds but to be faced with the fact of not having the track I love around anymore makes me sad and angry. Sad because I feel like it is my home in a sense, it is one of the places that I am happiest. It is a place that I get to see friends who I only get to see once or twice a year. As morbid as it sounds I actually have it listed in my will that my ashes are to be scattered there on the track when I pass.
I am also mad because I feel like the place I love is possibly being thrown away. Its not like the track hemorrhages money or isnt profitable, it is possibly being thrown away for greener pastures. I am mad because the people possibly throwing the place I love away less than a year ago threw away my job without the courtesy of a face to face explanation or even a phone call, only a form letter and impersonal email. I am mad because a lot of my co-workers, good people, were let go only to be re-hired less than six weeks later without their senority, benefits or even full-time hours. I am mad because at the end of the day it all comes down to money, thats all my favorite place comes down to is the prospect of more money.
After talking to Alan last week at another racetrack he made a good point to bring it all into prespective. "Racetracks have come and gone and Firebird has been around for nearly 40 years, its been a good run but all good things must come to an end at some point". "And who knows we've heard rumors for years, it may not happen" While it will not hurt any less if the wrecking ball comes he does make a good point. His words also make me realize that even if the track goes away I still have all my memories of the place and that will never be taken away. I still have the friends I've made there and I still have the sport I love. No matter what happens I will still go to races and be there bright and early on a Friday morning and I will still stand at the ropes and smell my nitro and watch the fastest accelerating vehicles in the world blast off. Whether its at Firebird or not, that will never be taken away.
