A bear walks up to a bar in Boise (1 Viewer)

[Nitrohaulic]

and orders a beer. The bartender walks over and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve bears beer in Boise.

The bear angrily slams his fist down on the bar, saying "I said I want a beer!" The bartender repeats "I'm sorry, we DON'T serve bears beer in Boise.

Now the bear's really mad. He looks around and sees a blonde sitting on a barstool beside him. Now he says "If you don't serve me a beer right now, I'm going to pick her up and swallow her in one bite!"

The bartender replies "Do what you gotta do. We still don't serve bears beer in Boise."

So the bear follows up on his promise, swallowing the blonde. He looks at the bartender again, asking "NOW are you going to serve me a beer?"

The bartender says "No, and not only that. We also don't allow any drug doing in here, either."

Puzzled, the bear asks "Drug doing? What are you talking about?"

The bartender: "Well, that WAS a barbituate!"

 

[ReactionTimes]

Oh that's bad!

 

[elvis]

Not bad... Not bad.... Try this one on for stink.
A string walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve your kind in here."
So the string goes outside, ties himself up, and messes up both ends of himself. He walks back into the bar, goes up to the bartender and orders another beer. The bartender says "Hey, weren't you that string that was just in here?"
The string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."

or

A dog limps into a bar. The bartender asks "Can I help you?"
The dog replies "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

You may throw rotten produce now if you like.

 

[ReactionTimes]

I'll have to send these to a couple of friends. They're so bad, but the funny part is, they won't get the jokes. Yeah, one's blonde.

 

[PJ]

great thats 30 seconds of my life I'm not gonna get back after reading this thread, somebody owed me

 

[Nitrohaulic]

This is fun. Only jokes having to do with playing on words.

 

[Kelly Raquipiso]

A NBA player decided to set a good example for his younger fans by getting his GED. One of his classes required him to use vocabulary words in sentences:

"I went to play a pick-up game of ball, but I forgot my tenacious."

 

["Dr. Dirt"]

A NASCAR driver comes into his doctor's office with a frog on his head.
The doctor asks what he might be able to do for him today?
The frog replys, "Can you remove this wart from my behind?"

Go easy on me, I like a few NASCAR drivers too and I couldn't say the guy who would've worked best for the joke.

 

[ReactionTimes]

If you mated a Bulldog and a Shitzu, what would you call it?

 

[Larry]

All right Michelle whats the answer thats not fair.
Is it Waren Johnson or am I going blind.

 

[none]

A NASCAR driver comes into his doctor's office with a frog on his head.
The doctor asks what he might be able to do for him today?
The frog replys, "Can you remove this wart from my behind?"

Go easy on me, I like a few NASCAR drivers too and I couldn't say the guy who would've worked best for the joke.

Jeff Gordon?
Jimmy Johnson?
Kurt Busch?
Kyle Busch?
Shall I keep going?

 

[Nazgul]

Jeff Gordon?
Jimmy Johnson?
Kurt Busch?
Kyle Busch?
Shall I keep going?

Naw it's my favorite driver Doc is talking about... Tony Stewart.

 

[ReactionTimes]

All right Michelle whats the answer thats not fair.
Is it Waren Johnson or am I going blind.

LOL! It's not proper for me to put that answer on this message board. Sorry! hehehe

 

[mick]

bear walks into a bar and says
'bartender.....................................................give me a beer'
bartender says, 'what's with the big pause?'
bear says (holding up arms/feet), 'i don't know, had'em all my life'

 

[ReactionTimes]

LOL Mike! These are so corny they're cracking me up. Or maybe it's that I haven't been awake long enough and I'm still half asleep?