Why men are happier (1 Viewer)

[mike cummings]

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $ 5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relati ves on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

 

[Von Halen]

Excellent!

 

[none]

And......men can have an epiphany at 2:32 am

 

[Von Halen]

Men are happier because they are the superior being.

Women are frustrated because they are constantly trying to measure up to us. Afterall, they were made from the rib of MAN.

If God hadn't put that goldmine between the legs of woman, we for the most part, wouldn't even be bothered with them.

It ticks me off that the gay guys are, well, so gay. As in happy. It's because they don't have to be bothered with those cantankerous women.

Heck, even the lesbians can't get along with each other. I bet the divorce/breakup rate among lesbians is higher than the divorce rate among men and women. I know it's higher than the divorce/breakup rate of gay guys.

 

[mike cummings]

Men are happier because they are the superior being.

Women are frustrated because they are constantly trying to measure up to us. Afterall, they were made from the rib of MAN.

If God hadn't put that goldmine between the legs of woman, we for the most part, wouldn't even be bothered with them.

It ticks me off that the gay guys are, well, so gay. As in happy. It's because they don't have to be bothered with those cantankerous women.

Heck, even the lesbians can't get along with each other. I bet the divorce/breakup rate among lesbians is higher than the divorce rate among men and women. I know it's higher than the divorce/breakup rate of gay guys.

you had better get ready to duck. This isn't going to bode well amongst the female posters here...

 

[Von Halen]

you had better get ready to duck. This isn't going to bode well amongst the female posters here...

I may have been a little shortsighted with that third sentence. I apologize. We might also put up with them for their ability to cook, clean and do laundry.

 

[KG]

you had better get ready to duck. This isn't going to bode well amongst the female posters here...

So far he is safe!

 

[TJ]

Prison's must be full of a bunch of happy men as males commit the most murders, rapes, drug abuse, etc.....

 

[vegasnitro]

I was in Conway, Arkansas for work last week and I saw a sign in a BBQ joint:

GOOD WOMAN WANTED:
Must be able to cook, clean, iron, bake, tend to kids and clean fish. Must have pickup and boat.

For consideration, please send picture of pickup and boat.

 

[Kelly]

Hmmmm.....well, I guess my 'fellow' female posters and I are just picking our battles.

 

[HEMI6point1]

Heck, even the lesbians can't get along with each other. I bet the divorce/breakup rate among lesbians is higher than the divorce rate among men and women. I know it's higher than the divorce/breakup rate of gay guys.

There is actually very much truth to this, it was a while ago on the O'reilly factor talking about this subject.

 

[Nitrohaulic]

Maybe the gay/lesbian breakup thing is related to something I heard the comedian Alonzo Bodden ( YouTube - Alonzo Bodden Clip ) say on XM recently. He was talking about the Rolodex that all women have in their brains for dates and times that you did stuff. He said "We're the ones who invented instant replay because we can't remember stuff that we just saw!"