These are Men's rules!!!! (1 Viewer)

Toejam

Nitro Member
Men have been hearing about the Female rules for years, now it's the Guy's turn!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


10. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

12. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

13. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

14. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

16. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

18. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

20. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

21. You have enough clothes.

22. You have too many shoes.

23. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

24. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 
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Men have been hearing about the Female rules for years, now it's the Guy's turn!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

Sorry, but I couldn't pass on this... these are mostly agreeable, but....

1. Some men believe they are. Give it up. Don't try, it makes your forehead look funny.:p

5. I am going to do that if you; a: lie, b: cheat, c: just get into a mean mood and say something really stupid, d: a relative or close friend dies. Can't help it, just wired that way. It's kind of like men scratching. They just do.

19. So does this mean that when my ex threw a conniption fit when I wore jeans and a t-shirt to dinner out that he was just expressing his more feminine qualities? Like, right, now I get it. :rolleyes:

 


19. So does this mean that when my ex threw a conniption fit when I wore jeans and a t-shirt to dinner out that he was just expressing his more feminine qualities? Like, right, now I get it. :rolleyes:

What was the big deal?? It's not like you wore a bathrobe, pink fuzzy slippers, and 3" curlers... :D

And why is your light out and who are you hiding from?? Are we hunting wabbits?? sssshhhhh
 
What was the big deal?? It's not like you wore a bathrobe, pink fuzzy slippers, and 3" curlers... :D

And why is your light out and who are you hiding from?? Are we hunting wabbits?? sssshhhhh

I like pink, but haven't owned fuzzy slippers since I was, oh, 12? Never wore curlers, if anything, I used to wish I had straight hair like Marsha Brady (omg, did I just give a hint?!?) :eek: Bathrobe... darn, it is hanging on the door... bathroom door, so I DO own one of those. wow. Hey, the jeans were even ironed to creases and the t-shirt was very p.c. no type at all.

lights?
 
got it, lights... I figured it out. fixed it & apologize, that was from before I posted. Do I look all shiney now?:D
 
after my wife looking over my shoulder while reading this, i want to thank you joe for the stiff neck i have from sleeping on the couch :D :D
 
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