HEMI6point1
Nitro Member
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2006
- Messages
- 3,901
- Age
- 42
- Location
- The sunshine state via NY.
Some jokes I have remembered over the years…
A woman in a hotel decides to up to the publicly accessible roof. Because no one is around, she slips off her bathing suit to get an overall tan. Lying on her stomach, nearly asleep, she hears a man running to the roof and quickly grabs a towel. “Excuse me Miss,” says the flustered hotel manager, “we don’t mind you sleeping up here, but we would like it if you put your bathing suit back on.” “Why? No one can see me,” says the woman. “Not exactly true,” says the embarrassed man, “you’re lying on the dining room skylight.”
---
Q: What do you get when you cross Rogain with Viagra?
A: Don King.
---
Q: What do you get when you mix Rush Limbaugh with Oxycontin?
A: An Oxymoron.
---
Q: How are women like hurricanes?
A: When they come they’re wild and wet, and when they go they take your house and car with them.
---
Q: How are women like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are always taken and the rest are handicapped.
---
Recording of the month:
Hello, welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid delusional, do not press any button. Please stay on the line until we can trace your call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
---
Q: Where do you get virgin wool?
A: From ugly sheep.
A woman in a hotel decides to up to the publicly accessible roof. Because no one is around, she slips off her bathing suit to get an overall tan. Lying on her stomach, nearly asleep, she hears a man running to the roof and quickly grabs a towel. “Excuse me Miss,” says the flustered hotel manager, “we don’t mind you sleeping up here, but we would like it if you put your bathing suit back on.” “Why? No one can see me,” says the woman. “Not exactly true,” says the embarrassed man, “you’re lying on the dining room skylight.”
---
Q: What do you get when you cross Rogain with Viagra?
A: Don King.
---
Q: What do you get when you mix Rush Limbaugh with Oxycontin?
A: An Oxymoron.
---
Q: How are women like hurricanes?
A: When they come they’re wild and wet, and when they go they take your house and car with them.
---
Q: How are women like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are always taken and the rest are handicapped.
---
Recording of the month:
Hello, welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid delusional, do not press any button. Please stay on the line until we can trace your call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
---
Q: Where do you get virgin wool?
A: From ugly sheep.
