ProStockJunkie
Nitro Member
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2006
- Messages
- 4,406
- Age
- 79
- Location
- New Jersey, USA
Because I'm a Man !
___________________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle
with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not
an option. I will win.
______________________________ _________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop
the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to
be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start" We will then drink a
couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
______________________________ ____________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman.
You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
______________________________ _______________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries
at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same
thing.
______________________________ _______________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it
back together.
__________________________ ________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my
hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a
whole show looking for it . . . though one time I was able to survive by
holding a calculator. (applies to engineers mainly)
______________________________ ________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking
about.
The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I
have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
______________________________ ________________________
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about
her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is
okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up
something for my mother, too.
______________________________ ______________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and
if you are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at
least remember the name and recommend it to others.
______________________________ _____________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought
what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of
shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is
fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
______________________________ ______________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will
share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking,
the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
______________________________ ______________________
This has been a public service message for women to better
understand men.
___________________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle
with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not
an option. I will win.
______________________________ _________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop
the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to
be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start" We will then drink a
couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
______________________________ ____________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman.
You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
______________________________ _______________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries
at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same
thing.
______________________________ _______________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it
back together.
__________________________ ________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my
hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a
whole show looking for it . . . though one time I was able to survive by
holding a calculator. (applies to engineers mainly)
______________________________ ________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking
about.
The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I
have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
______________________________ ________________________
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about
her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is
okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up
something for my mother, too.
______________________________ ______________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and
if you are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at
least remember the name and recommend it to others.
______________________________ _____________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought
what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of
shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is
fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
______________________________ ______________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will
share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking,
the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
______________________________ ______________________
This has been a public service message for women to better
understand men.
