ProStockJunkie
Nitro Member
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2006
- Messages
- 4,406
- Age
- 79
- Location
- New Jersey, USA
I wanted to share this with all of you. It was written by a friend of mine, Dan Miller, a former Mars associate. I met Erik when he was just a baby in a stroller when Lisa would come in the office to visit. May God continue to bless Dan, Lisa and Erik and may Erik's story be a blessing to all of you. Jackee
He's not just anyone - He's my son.
By Dan Miller
Challenges are often seen as unwelcome. We don't look forward to them. And when we see others with challenges, we often feel sorry for the person or even pity them. This is especially true when we think of those with physical or mental handicaps.
For many people my son Erik might appear to be a person to be pitied. It is true that he was born with a genetic anomaly so rare that it is named only by the scientific designation Trisomy 12-P, a condition so rare that doctors know little about it. It is true that because of this genetic condition, life is not easy for Erik. It is also true that today, as a 21 year old young man, he has difficulty walking, does not speak, does not feed himself, and is intellectually challenged.
But praise God, Erik's story does not end there. I want to share with you a different perspective by telling you about my son Erik. He is a great guy. While there are plenty of tough circumstances, Erik is not a victim of his circumstance.
On the medical side of things, the first months of Erik's life were spent in the hospital. They were five months that no one should have to go through especially a baby. Erik could have given up and never made it out of the hospital. There were many doctors, therapists, and other professionals that gave up on him. They had attitudes of hopelessness and low expectations. Erik literally 'walked through the valley of the shadow of death' on a daily basis those first five months. I was told that young babies tend to give up when breathing is too hard for them. Erik didn't. I know without any doubt that God had his hand there protecting Erik.
Feeding was a big issue for my boy. Erik needed assistance to get enough nutrition. The doctors had to surgically place a tube into Erik's stomach so he could be fed. And then the doctors discovered that Erik had a cleft palette. Just before Erik turned five, they repaired it. Erik has a weak immune system and consequently he is sick more than he is well. It seems like he is on antibiotics all the time. And he goes through so many tests. Erik has had many surgeries and been in the hospital more times than I care to count.
Erik doesn't enjoy being sick but he doesn't feel sorry for himself either. Instead, Erik recognizes these as times that he gets special attention. His 60 plus doctor appointments each year have become times to socialize with all the people in the offices. He isn't a victim; he is special and he soaks up all the attention. He has become the mascot at his pediatricians' office. Most kids dread going to the doctor; Erik thinks how fortunate he is to go there and have all these wonderful women telling him what a handsome, big, special boy he is and he responds with his innocent, yet appropriate flirting! Although he does not enjoy feeling sick, he LOVES his appointments with all of the doctors that he visits each year because he is the center of attention while there.
Erik's physical development has been a struggle too. When Erik was born, he could see and hear but his body was just too weak to do much of anything else. His muscle tone was so low that he seemed like jell-o. For him, it was a struggle just to breathe. Eating was next to impossible. But every day he could see the people that loved him, he felt their tender touch, and he could hear them praying for him. Once Erik came home from the hospital, he began to gain some strength. He learned to pick up toys with his feet, and to clap his feet before he was able to do the same with his hands. He learned to 'play soccer' while lying on his back as he would push a ball around on the carpet. As his core muscles continued to develop, Erik would lie on the floor and try over and over to lift his head up. Gradually he could hold his head up for longer and longer lengths of time. By the time he was 4½, Erik was able to sit by himself. Then he learned that he could get places by scooting on his bottom and he was always on the go. Even before he could hold his body upright, he began to use a special walker with wheels and a seat to get around. Through persistence and practice, he went from hanging his body on the walker and pushing with his feet from place to place to pushing his legs straight and straightening up for seconds at a time, until one day, Erik was standing upright on his own with the walker as a safety net. He learned that by holding counters, railings, furniture, and doorways he could maneuver around the house and his school without the walker. Finally, at the age of 6½ Erik was able to take those first wobbly steps without assistance. Quickly those first 3 steps turned to 6 and from 6 steps to 10, and from 10 to 20. Freedom! I was told by one doctor that Erik would never walk. I guess no one told Erik. Though unsteady, Erik is now walking on his own. Still he always trusts me to be there to catch him.
The challenges in Erik's life continue to evolve. When some of the challenges are outgrown, new challenges emerge. The most recent is that Erik now has issues with sleeping, going two and three nights in a row without sleep.
Life has not been easy for my boy; so many circumstances. But Erik is not a victim of his circumstance. To him, he is perfect the way God made him. To Erik, life isn't about good or bad; life just is. Erik lives in the present. By that, I mean that Erik sees things the way they are, not the way they could be or should be; not what might have been; not the way others might wish they were; not even the way others believe things should have been and wonder why they aren't. He doesn't blame anyone. He doesn't worry about bills or tests, performance appraisals or the weather. Erik just chases after life. He is not multi-tasking and missing out on life. He is fully engaged with the activity and the people he is with that very moment. He is a happy boy. I think it is because Erik lives his whole life from his heart. He knows he is loved. He knows I love him and he loves me back with gusto. He knows and believes everything I say to him. When I tell him, "I love you," Erik believes it without question and he shows it with an enthusiastic hug. When I tell him "You are a handsome boy," he believes it without any doubt and fl ashes me that big uninhibited smile of his. When I tell him "I am so proud of you," Erik believes it unconditionally and huckles with delight. The joy these words bring him makes his face beam. They bring him security and peace and self esteem. He feels good about himself.
There have been times when others have laughed and made fun of Erik. Those times hurt me so much. But it doesn't bother Erik to hear what others think about him, because he knows what I think about him. It doesn't bother Erik when others give up on him, because he knows I will never give up on him. Erik only knows unconditional love. He never harbors bitterness or anger. Those things are just not his nature.
If only the whole world was more like Erik. If only I was more like Erik: living life fully engaged every moment; believing with my whole heart that I am the person my heavenly Father says I am; seeing myself through God's eyes; defining my value and self worth by what God says about me - not affected by what others say; not intimidated by the worries and fear that circumstances bring; trusting my heavenly Father in every situation; knowing happiness does not come from the destinations in life; knowing that the joy in life comes from its journey.
Erik is now 21 years old. He has changed the way I see the world. He has
changed the way I see life. He has taught me some deep lessons about God and about myself. His life is still hard but he and I know that his life is of great value. He doesn't want you to feel sorry for him; he wants you to love him for who he is.
God will never give up God is always there to catch
on you. Don't give up on Him. you.
It must hurt our heavenly Father
so much when His children are belittled.
He's not just anyone - He's my son.
By Dan Miller
Challenges are often seen as unwelcome. We don't look forward to them. And when we see others with challenges, we often feel sorry for the person or even pity them. This is especially true when we think of those with physical or mental handicaps.
For many people my son Erik might appear to be a person to be pitied. It is true that he was born with a genetic anomaly so rare that it is named only by the scientific designation Trisomy 12-P, a condition so rare that doctors know little about it. It is true that because of this genetic condition, life is not easy for Erik. It is also true that today, as a 21 year old young man, he has difficulty walking, does not speak, does not feed himself, and is intellectually challenged.
But praise God, Erik's story does not end there. I want to share with you a different perspective by telling you about my son Erik. He is a great guy. While there are plenty of tough circumstances, Erik is not a victim of his circumstance.
On the medical side of things, the first months of Erik's life were spent in the hospital. They were five months that no one should have to go through especially a baby. Erik could have given up and never made it out of the hospital. There were many doctors, therapists, and other professionals that gave up on him. They had attitudes of hopelessness and low expectations. Erik literally 'walked through the valley of the shadow of death' on a daily basis those first five months. I was told that young babies tend to give up when breathing is too hard for them. Erik didn't. I know without any doubt that God had his hand there protecting Erik.
Feeding was a big issue for my boy. Erik needed assistance to get enough nutrition. The doctors had to surgically place a tube into Erik's stomach so he could be fed. And then the doctors discovered that Erik had a cleft palette. Just before Erik turned five, they repaired it. Erik has a weak immune system and consequently he is sick more than he is well. It seems like he is on antibiotics all the time. And he goes through so many tests. Erik has had many surgeries and been in the hospital more times than I care to count.
Erik doesn't enjoy being sick but he doesn't feel sorry for himself either. Instead, Erik recognizes these as times that he gets special attention. His 60 plus doctor appointments each year have become times to socialize with all the people in the offices. He isn't a victim; he is special and he soaks up all the attention. He has become the mascot at his pediatricians' office. Most kids dread going to the doctor; Erik thinks how fortunate he is to go there and have all these wonderful women telling him what a handsome, big, special boy he is and he responds with his innocent, yet appropriate flirting! Although he does not enjoy feeling sick, he LOVES his appointments with all of the doctors that he visits each year because he is the center of attention while there.
Erik's physical development has been a struggle too. When Erik was born, he could see and hear but his body was just too weak to do much of anything else. His muscle tone was so low that he seemed like jell-o. For him, it was a struggle just to breathe. Eating was next to impossible. But every day he could see the people that loved him, he felt their tender touch, and he could hear them praying for him. Once Erik came home from the hospital, he began to gain some strength. He learned to pick up toys with his feet, and to clap his feet before he was able to do the same with his hands. He learned to 'play soccer' while lying on his back as he would push a ball around on the carpet. As his core muscles continued to develop, Erik would lie on the floor and try over and over to lift his head up. Gradually he could hold his head up for longer and longer lengths of time. By the time he was 4½, Erik was able to sit by himself. Then he learned that he could get places by scooting on his bottom and he was always on the go. Even before he could hold his body upright, he began to use a special walker with wheels and a seat to get around. Through persistence and practice, he went from hanging his body on the walker and pushing with his feet from place to place to pushing his legs straight and straightening up for seconds at a time, until one day, Erik was standing upright on his own with the walker as a safety net. He learned that by holding counters, railings, furniture, and doorways he could maneuver around the house and his school without the walker. Finally, at the age of 6½ Erik was able to take those first wobbly steps without assistance. Quickly those first 3 steps turned to 6 and from 6 steps to 10, and from 10 to 20. Freedom! I was told by one doctor that Erik would never walk. I guess no one told Erik. Though unsteady, Erik is now walking on his own. Still he always trusts me to be there to catch him.
The challenges in Erik's life continue to evolve. When some of the challenges are outgrown, new challenges emerge. The most recent is that Erik now has issues with sleeping, going two and three nights in a row without sleep.
Life has not been easy for my boy; so many circumstances. But Erik is not a victim of his circumstance. To him, he is perfect the way God made him. To Erik, life isn't about good or bad; life just is. Erik lives in the present. By that, I mean that Erik sees things the way they are, not the way they could be or should be; not what might have been; not the way others might wish they were; not even the way others believe things should have been and wonder why they aren't. He doesn't blame anyone. He doesn't worry about bills or tests, performance appraisals or the weather. Erik just chases after life. He is not multi-tasking and missing out on life. He is fully engaged with the activity and the people he is with that very moment. He is a happy boy. I think it is because Erik lives his whole life from his heart. He knows he is loved. He knows I love him and he loves me back with gusto. He knows and believes everything I say to him. When I tell him, "I love you," Erik believes it without question and he shows it with an enthusiastic hug. When I tell him "You are a handsome boy," he believes it without any doubt and fl ashes me that big uninhibited smile of his. When I tell him "I am so proud of you," Erik believes it unconditionally and huckles with delight. The joy these words bring him makes his face beam. They bring him security and peace and self esteem. He feels good about himself.
There have been times when others have laughed and made fun of Erik. Those times hurt me so much. But it doesn't bother Erik to hear what others think about him, because he knows what I think about him. It doesn't bother Erik when others give up on him, because he knows I will never give up on him. Erik only knows unconditional love. He never harbors bitterness or anger. Those things are just not his nature.
If only the whole world was more like Erik. If only I was more like Erik: living life fully engaged every moment; believing with my whole heart that I am the person my heavenly Father says I am; seeing myself through God's eyes; defining my value and self worth by what God says about me - not affected by what others say; not intimidated by the worries and fear that circumstances bring; trusting my heavenly Father in every situation; knowing happiness does not come from the destinations in life; knowing that the joy in life comes from its journey.
Erik is now 21 years old. He has changed the way I see the world. He has
changed the way I see life. He has taught me some deep lessons about God and about myself. His life is still hard but he and I know that his life is of great value. He doesn't want you to feel sorry for him; he wants you to love him for who he is.
God will never give up God is always there to catch
on you. Don't give up on Him. you.
It must hurt our heavenly Father
so much when His children are belittled.
