'twas the night before Christmas.... (1 Viewer)

[ProStockJunkie]

'Twas the night before Christmas and out on the streets,
Only Mopars were winning against Fords and "Heartbeats."

The stop lights were hung over the streets with ca re,
Getting ready to change for those drivers who dare.

The children were nestled all snug in there beds,
While visions of Hot Wheels danced in their heads.

My wife was on the phone and I in the garage,
Staring at my Miss Mopar collage.

When out on the drive rolled up such a rumble,
You knew for the owner it was hard to be humble.

I recognized the sound but had to see for myself,
I knew this was no blue oval elf.

I was right, there it was, in it's plum crazy glow,
A '71 426 'Cuda built for go.

The black billboard split as the door opened wide,
A large sack of parts was then tossed outside.

A leg swung out with a tall black boot,
Then there he stood in a red and white suit.

It was Santa, St. Nick, in all of his glory,
"But Santa, please tell me, just what is the story?"

"Where is your sleigh, your eight tiny deer?"
He said "I traded them in on 425 horses and a 4.10 gear !"

"I test drove 'em all, every single musclecar,
But none can beat 'Cheevies' like a Hemi Mopar!"

"And son you've been good and learned all the tricks,
So I'm swapping your small block for a 426!"

Then he grabbed up his tools and went strait to the chore.
The swap took one hour, no less and no more.

This guy was good, but something wasn't right...
Santa couldn't have learned to do that overnight.

He torqued the last nut and then walked away,
"With this," he said proudly, "you'll beat 'Cheevies' all day!"

All at once it hit me, I recognized the voice,
His skill with the tools, his words of choice.

Once I figured it out, it was really no surprise,
This was Larry Shepard in a Santa disguise.

He collected up his tools and went back to his ride,
Put his stuff in the trunk and hopped back inside.

With a whine of the starter, the beast came alive,
And with a shift to reverse, h e backed out of my drive.

With pistol grip in hand he shifted into first,
And the 'Cuda jumped forward with a quick but smooth burst.

I could see he was happy about what he had done,
He had turned my car into major Mopar fun.

But he had to be going, he had much to do,
Lots of Hemis to be swapped in hours too few.

And I heard him exclaim as he snatched second gear...
"Have a smooth running Christmas and a Mopar New Year"

 

[ProStockJunkie]

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE CRUIZERS X-MAS

'Twas the night before "The Cruizers" X-Mas, and all through the shop
Not a creature was stirring, all work just had stopped

The tools were all hung on the peg board with care
In hopes that "The Cruizer" soon would be there

The cars were all parked safely covered in the garage
My Shelby, My GTO, and even my Hemi Dodge

My wife in her robe and I in my Batman P.J.'s
Had just settled down after X-Mas shopping for days

When out on the driveway there arose such a clatter!
It sounded to me just like pressure plate chatter

On to the driveway I flew like the Flash
I tripped over the dog and landed in the trash

When there in the driveway beneath the Moon and the Stars
Sat a 55 Chevy gasser with chrome ladder bars

As I walked up closer to get a better view
I noticed a Blown Big Block and cheater slicks too

There behind the wheel sat a driver so tuff
With Tattoos, an earring, and beard oh so ruff

Dressed in Black leather he looked like a Bruizer
I knew right away he must have been "The Cruizer"

"I pulled second, I pulled third, then I heard a big Bang,
Things started to smoke, things started to clang!"

"I spotted your big garage with hopes of repair"
His back seat was full of presents but I tried not to stare

"If you can fix my 55 and make it shift right
I will give you these gifts for ruining your night"

We opened the door and pushed the 55 in
Before I got underneath, he gave me a wink and a grin

The headers were hot, the slicks they were sticky
That blow-proof bell housing would make the job tricky

I turned on my droplight and gave it a look
The big 3 inch exhaust was making me cook

When there to my surprise what did I see?
The four tranny bolts had wiggled themselves free

I grabbed my torque wrench and started to turn
As I tightened the last one I could smell my sleeves burn

He slid behind the wheel and fired up that mill
As I directed him out listening to it idle had gave me a chill

A Blown 454 with two 850's up top
Chrome reverse rims and a 2 inch suspension drop

He eased it out to the street and set the line lock
I knew this would not be quiet, probably wake the whole block

He revved it to 8 grand and let the clutch pop
As the rubber and smoke poured from the tires I spotted a cop!

He released the line lock and let that 55 loose
This baby was ALL MOTOR with no signs of Juice!

He fishtailed sideways, grabbed Third with plenty of guts
With Police in chase he screamed out

"MAKE SURE YOU USE LOCKTITE SO YOU DON'T LOOSE YOUR NUTS!"

 

[ProStockJunkie]

Twas the night before a mopar Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and out on the streets,
Only Mopars were winning against Fords and "Heartbeats."

The stop lights were hung over the streets with care,
Getting ready to change for those drivers who dare.

The children were nestled all snug in there beds,
While visions of Hot Wheels danced in their heads.

My wife was on the phone and I in the garage,
Staring at my Miss Mopar collage.

When out on the drive rolled up such a rumble,
You knew for the owner it was hard to be humble.

I recognized the sound but had to see for myself,
I knew this was no blue oval elf.

I was right, there it was, in it's plum crazy glow,
A '71 426 'Cuda built for go.

The black billboard split as the door opened wide,
A large sack of parts was then tossed outside.

A leg swung out with a tall black boot,
Then there he stood in a red and white suit.

It was Santa, St. Nick, in all of his glory,
"But Santa, please tell me, just what is the story?"

"Where is your sleigh, your eight tiny deer?"
He said "I traded them in on 425 horses and a 4.10 gear!"

"I test drove 'em all, every single musclecar,
But none can beat 'Cheevies' like a Hemi Mopar!"

"And son you've been good and learned all the tricks,
So I'm swapping your small block for a 426!"

Then he grabbed up his tools and went strait to the chore.
The swap took one hour, no less and no more.

This guy was good, but something wasn't right...
Santa couldn't have learned to do that overnight.

He torqued the last nut and then walked away,
"With this," he said proudly, "you'll beat 'Cheevies' all day!"

All at once it hit me, I recognized the voice,
His skill with the tools, his words of choice.

Once I figured it out, it was really no surprise,
This was Larry Shepard in a Santa disguise.

He collected up his tools and went back to his ride,
Put his stuff in the trunk and hopped back inside.

With a whine of the starter, the beast came alive,
And with a shift to reverse, he backed out of my drive.

With pistol grip in hand he shifted into first,
And the 'Cuda jumped forward with a quick but smooth burst.

I could see he was happy about what he had done,
He had turned my car into major Mopar fun.

But he had to be going, he had much to do,
Lots of Hemis to be swapped in hours too few.

And I heard him exclaim as he snatched second gear...
"Have a smooth running Christmas and a Mopar New Year"

 

[ProStockJunkie]

Seems the writer forgot about a 1970 LS 6 Chevelle Convertible! HA!