d'kid
Nitro Member
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2006
- Messages
- 6,516
- Age
- 70
- Location
- Norfolk, Va via Garden Grove Ca.
Subject: 2009 GED Test Answers
Please keep in mind that these "kids" are 16 years old or OLDER!!!! You'd
expect this out of elementary school kids. Scarrrrry!
The following questions were set in last year's 2009 GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds and older)...and they WILL
breed.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists (I hate those canoeists in my
water!)
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire (this happen
with humans, why not plants???
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
(nope.won't even comment)
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So
true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death (go ahead.argue with that one!)
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow (Ohhhhh . . . .my)
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the
heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,
I,O,U.. (what the..)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure; I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome (Julius Seizure lives in that
section!)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like little
umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (Read this one slowly,
you'll get it~~do dishes . . .)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shrek wears on his head
Please keep in mind that these "kids" are 16 years old or OLDER!!!! You'd
expect this out of elementary school kids. Scarrrrry!
The following questions were set in last year's 2009 GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds and older)...and they WILL
breed.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists (I hate those canoeists in my
water!)
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire (this happen
with humans, why not plants???
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
(nope.won't even comment)
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So
true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death (go ahead.argue with that one!)
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow (Ohhhhh . . . .my)
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the
heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,
I,O,U.. (what the..)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure; I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome (Julius Seizure lives in that
section!)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like little
umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (Read this one slowly,
you'll get it~~do dishes . . .)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shrek wears on his head
