ProStockJunkie
Nitro Member
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2006
- Messages
- 4,406
- Age
- 79
- Location
- New Jersey, USA
IF MEN RULED THE WORLD: TOP 25 LIST
1. Any fake phone number a girl gave you would
automatically forward your call to her real number.
2. Nodding and looking at your watch would be
deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
3. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name
again?" cards.
4. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to
you during the game, she'd appear in a little box
in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
5. Each year, your raise would be pegged to the
fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
6. The funniest guy in the office would get to be
CEO.
7. "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last
night" would be an acceptable excuse for
tardiness.
8. At the end of the workday, a whistle would
blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down
the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car
like Fred Flintstone.
9. It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30
friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a
nearby town.
10. When a cop gave you a ticket, every
smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually
reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you
were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling
my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one.
That's $10 off."
11. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
12. Garbage would take itself out.
13. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer
biceps."
14. Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you
could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam
hand that said, "You're #1!"
15. Valentine's Day would be moved to February
29th so it would only occur in leap years.
17. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow,
you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day,
too.
18. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain
exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every
month.
19. “COPS” would be broadcast live, and you could
phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the
crooks.
20. The only show opposite “Monday Night
Football” would be "Monday Night Football from a
Different Camera Angle".
21. The candle shops in the mall would sell
candles that smell like whiskey and beer.
22. Women would have to obtain a license before
wearing spandex or short shorts (sorta like
conceal carry laws).
23. Women suffering from PMS would be required to
wear a burka.
24. Gun racks would be standard on all American
cars.
25. There would be a device that automatically
raised and lowered toilet seats.
1. Any fake phone number a girl gave you would
automatically forward your call to her real number.
2. Nodding and looking at your watch would be
deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
3. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name
again?" cards.
4. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to
you during the game, she'd appear in a little box
in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
5. Each year, your raise would be pegged to the
fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
6. The funniest guy in the office would get to be
CEO.
7. "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last
night" would be an acceptable excuse for
tardiness.
8. At the end of the workday, a whistle would
blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down
the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car
like Fred Flintstone.
9. It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30
friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a
nearby town.
10. When a cop gave you a ticket, every
smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually
reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you
were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling
my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one.
That's $10 off."
11. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
12. Garbage would take itself out.
13. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer
biceps."
14. Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you
could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam
hand that said, "You're #1!"
15. Valentine's Day would be moved to February
29th so it would only occur in leap years.
17. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow,
you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day,
too.
18. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain
exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every
month.
19. “COPS” would be broadcast live, and you could
phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the
crooks.
20. The only show opposite “Monday Night
Football” would be "Monday Night Football from a
Different Camera Angle".
21. The candle shops in the mall would sell
candles that smell like whiskey and beer.
22. Women would have to obtain a license before
wearing spandex or short shorts (sorta like
conceal carry laws).
23. Women suffering from PMS would be required to
wear a burka.
24. Gun racks would be standard on all American
cars.
25. There would be a device that automatically
raised and lowered toilet seats.
