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You cant fix stupid people (1 Viewer)

paoldtimer

Nitro Member
You will laugh out loud at least once....enjoy

You Can't Fix Stupid People

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have a half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO
I was checking out at the local WalMart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.' (she had no clue either!)

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift.One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'

'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in 'Twister.'

I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the 'cruise control' and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems withtheir computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: 'I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?'

EIGHT
Police in Radnor , Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message 'He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the 'lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine ..

The mother says, 'Okay, but, I just gave him some ant killer.....
'Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency room!'


Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid...and stupid is not a legitmate handicap.
 

Suzie Q

Nitro Member
Amen! I think people are getting worse every day!!! :D Ya just gotta shake yer head and say "Bless their heart"!!!
 

Joker

Nitro Member
Too funny especially b/c of the title of this thread. True story from last Friday:

I walk into the gas station on my way to the race track and purchase 2 bags of ice, 2 12 packs of Dr Pepper, a candy bar and my total is $9.27. I had the young girl behind the counter a $10 bill, a quarter, and 2 pennies. So $10.27. She said "Sir, you gave me too much, its only $9.27" I told her "I know, I just want an even dollar back." "Sir, you dont understand, you only owe $9.27, you gave me a ten, you just get .63 cents back." I said, "First of all, I would get .73 cents back, not .63, and I gave you 10.27 which is a dollar more than my total so you can just give me a dollar back. I dont want the change." Well needless to say after trying to explain it about 3 more times the manager finally walks up and asks if there's a problem. I told him what was up and he said, "Oh you get a dollar back." Yep. Thanks Einstein. Anyways then he proceeds to tell me she's new and he will explain it to her. Whats that, 3rd grade math? I think our education system needs help. Anyways, as I leave she said something under her breath and I turned around and he said, You forgot your change, and I just said "keep it, put it to her education fund but unfortunetly you cant fix stupid."
 

The Swegian

Nitro Member
Too funny especially b/c of the title of this thread. True story from last Friday:

I walk into the gas station on my way to the race track and purchase 2 bags of ice, 2 12 packs of Dr Pepper, a candy bar and my total is $9.27. I had the young girl behind the counter a $10 bill, a quarter, and 2 pennies. So $10.27. She said "Sir, you gave me too much, its only $9.27" I told her "I know, I just want an even dollar back." "Sir, you dont understand, you only owe $9.27, you gave me a ten, you just get .63 cents back." I said, "First of all, I would get .73 cents back, not .63, and I gave you 10.27 which is a dollar more than my total so you can just give me a dollar back. I dont want the change." Well needless to say after trying to explain it about 3 more times the manager finally walks up and asks if there's a problem. I told him what was up and he said, "Oh you get a dollar back." Yep. Thanks Einstein. Anyways then he proceeds to tell me she's new and he will explain it to her. Whats that, 3rd grade math? I think our education system needs help. Anyways, as I leave she said something under her breath and I turned around and he said, You forgot your change, and I just said "keep it, put it to her education fund but unfortunetly you cant fix stupid."

Justin, sounds like you may have had an encounter with one of those famed DCF's!
 

Jenn

Nitro Member
Only thing worse that stupid people is flat out rude people. I went into a supplier the other day and I asked the counterperson if she could have somebody carry the battery out for me (my arm is still tied to my upper body to give some tendons a chance to heal), the sling goes under my shirt so you really can't tell that it's under there other than the fact that I don't have the range of motion. She didn't give me any acknowledgement that she heard me and so I said "Did you hear me?" and she snapped at me "Yes, I heard you"

So I retorted that I couldn't hear her head rattle. She snatched my credit card away from me to ring up my sale, to which I walked out and found the manager. She was taken out of that position.

If you are polite and honest about your mistake, I will give you slack, but if you are rude or just plain mean...that makes me mad.
 

Kelly

Nitro Member
Mark, thats exactly what it was. Diboll, Tx. Thats all I have to say.

OMG! Yep....gotcha.

Not really stupid just a DCF, but I had a clerk in a store in New Braunfels a couple of weekends ago ask if we were going to the Fair. We weren't sure.....she said, "If you go, smuggle beer in your purse. The beer is so expensive!" I thought OK..I go to Minute Maid on a regular basis, so I was imagining over $6. When I asked her how much, she said, "IT'S $2 A BEER! I CAN'T BELIEVE I SPENT OVER $20 LAST NIGHT!"

I think I litterally laughed in her face!
 

Kris

Nitro Member
Oh, man, Cheryl that was awesome. I copied that into a word document. I'm gonna print it up and send it to my buddy who is at Marine Corps boot camp. He'll love it.

Yet another reminder why I love the Seattle area. :D
 

Joker

Nitro Member
OMG! Yep....gotcha.

Not really stupid just a DCF, but I had a clerk in a store in New Braunfels a couple of weekends ago ask if we were going to the Fair. We weren't sure.....she said, "If you go, smuggle beer in your purse. The beer is so expensive!" I thought OK..I go to Minute Maid on a regular basis, so I was imagining over $6. When I asked her how much, she said, "IT'S $2 A BEER! I CAN'T BELIEVE I SPENT OVER $20 LAST NIGHT!"

I think I litterally laughed in her face!

$7.25 a beer at Reliant, its crazy.
 

"Dr. Dirt"

Nitro Member
Wow! I thought this was going to be a thread about executives at NHRA. See how wrong a guy can be! Larry Morgan hasn't even been mentioned once. Go figure!
 

mick

Nitro Member
very few adults can count change back these days. pathetic.

i like #8......'damn it, i'm tellin' the truth!!'.......click, copy....'he's lying'
:D:D:D - that's sum funny stuff. should be a scene in a movie.
 

d'kid

Nitro Member
cornfuss them at the store every couple of days; 9.42 for 3 packs of smokes...
give them 20.42...

i've been hand back...

11.58...
15.00 even... someone can't tell a five from a single if it's in the wrong slot...
a five and eight singles
a pair of fives and six quarters...

i could go on, but it's a national drug store chain...
I've also been carded there for cigs... y'all know I'm 54, and I look it:(... I asked why, don't I do look like I'm over 18... She said, "we card anyone under 45, and I don't know if you're over 45 without asking for your ID"

I asked for the manager....
d'kid
 
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HEMI6point1

Nitro Member
Here's my stupid for the day.

Me: Can I have you phone number, please?

Caller: Um, uh....

Me:....

Caller:....

Me: I need your phone number, please?

Caller: It's xxx-xxxx.

Me: I need the area code, sir.

Caller: Uh... XXXXX.

Me: That's your zip code, I need the area code.

Caller: XXXXX....

Me: Sir, again that's your zip code.

Caller: Oh, XXX.

I was getting worried because if he couldn't give his phone number, imagine trying to get him to enter a web address? Fortunately, for the type of service plan he had, he needed to bring it to the store so I dodged a bullet on that one.
 

Jenn

Nitro Member
For the record, I don't know my home phone number either. It's 6 on speed dial. I never call myself anyway.
 

vegasnitro

Nitro Member
When I was an engineer with the cable company in Vegas, we had a program called "Walk A Mile" ... basically you had to do someone else's job for a day at least once a year. It was supposed to give you perspective or something.

Anyhoo ... I ALWAYS got stuck doing phone support for cablemodems. First call of the day ... 7AM ... lady calls in all kinds of angry:

Her: "I can't get on the internet."
Me: "How long have you been without service?"
Her: "Since the power went out."
Me: "Call Nevada Power."
Her: "How will the power company help me get on the internet?"
Me: "They will get your power turned back on ... computers and cablemodems do not work with out electric power."
Her: "Oh. Come to think of it, my cable's out too."
Me: "Yeah ... TVs do not work without power either."
<Long Pause>
Her: "Well ... are you going to help me or am I going to have to speak to your supervisor?"
Me: "You can talk to my supervisor if you like ... but she can't get your power turned back on either."
Her: mumble mumble mumble CLICK
 
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